Last August as I decided to come study at the Jerusalem Center, I didn’t think much about what I expected out of the experience. That quickly changed as I arrived and sensed the Spirit of this program. I specifically remember the first field trip where Brother Manscill talked to us about setting goals and making the most of that experience. That night as I was praying and later as I sat and pondered, I made some goals for this semester. I desired a deeper testimony of the Bible. I wanted a closer and more personal relationship with the Savior, Jesus Christ. I sought clarity in my life’s goals.
It shouldn’t have been any surprise that things didn’t turn out how I expected them to. The first surprise came in recognizing the need to change my attitude. Here I am, studying in Jerusalem, surrounded by dozens of other awesome people who share my beliefs and values, being taught by inspired staff, and living in a sacred building dedicated to our Savior Jesus Christ. And yet, those facts didn’t automatically yield the Spirit. I needed to be proactive in maintaining the Spirit in my life, allowing those changes to be long-term, rather than a simple flash in the pan. Another surprise to me was in the fact that I gained much more insights from quiet personal experiences, rather than in the great sermons delivered while at holy sites. While here, I’ve been able to go to most sacred sites I could imagine, and it’s been great. Still, the most lasting insights have come through my own study of the scriptures. Isn’t it ironic that I had to travel halfway around the world to realize that what I was doing before was the best? I’ve found that these sacred experiences have come at times that were not expected. The lesson learned? I need to always be ready for and open to spiritual lessons through my daily, routine life. I need to continue to do the small things that allow me to be constantly in tune with the Spirit.
I came to Jerusalem looking for clarity, and yet for a while I was ridiculously stressed out! I was frustrated because I was not yet where I wanted to be, and became resentful as I felt that I was not getting the answers that I needed. Every lesson, every talk, and every field trip was contaminated by these feelings of insecurity in the back of my mind. In hindsight, these few weeks were a necessary part of my growth, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. I was humbled, and became much more fervent in my pleas for help.
Galilee was the culmination of my spiritual growth this semester. I arrived with my several wants and worries, hoping that somehow I could find a balm to soothe them. As we arrived at Ein Gev and began unpacking, I felt a quiet peace about the place. I naturally became a bit more reclusive, more prone to reading and pondering. Over those two weeks, the Spirit was able to teach me, and even more importantly, set my mind at ease. I got back to the basics: meaningfully reading and praying fervently each day, seeking for the guidance of my God. The most meaningful thing that I began to learn there was about prayer: that it is a means for discovering the will of God, rather than whining to make our own will known.
Even now, after that great experience in Galilee, I still have meaningful “after-shock” revelations. It is sweet to me to see that those few truths I was able to learn while there have helped me to learn so much more. I have made some wonderful changes, and I will strive to keep them written upon my heart, changing my very roots rather than just my outward self.
I learned that spiritual growth does not depend on geography nor on historical value, but rather on time, faith, and obedience. With that, I saw the need to exercise more patience in my pursuit of spiritual growth.
I learned the importance of putting the basics first, and not allowing life’s busyness to interfere.
I experienced the power of pondering, which has been a skill I’ve desired for a long time. I have made that a permanent, lasting change. I have loved sitting peacefully after my prayers, writing down the thoughts that have come, and I treasure the guidance I receive from my Father. These insights went beyond just the questions I was asking, and have brought a greater peace regarding the future.
I have recognized the need to be obedient out of love, rather than fear. There are still some things that are harder for me, but I can honestly say that in this area I have experienced a change of heart. When I mess up, I feel sorrow for a lost opportunity to grow closer to my Father, rather than a childish fear of punishment.
I had a remarkable insight regarding charity. Somehow, when I heard people talk about how we should put aside our own needs for others, I didn’t recognize that we should put aside real, actual needs! To realize that there’s something I absolutely, legitimately need, and then purposefully deny myself of that in order to serve others; that is to be Christ-like. My favorite field trip in Galilee was to the church in Naim. I remember Brother Emmett’s thought, first speaking of the widow’s poor condition, and then explaining how the Savior must have walked through the night to be able to arrive in time to perform the miracle. He knew her situation, and sacrificed of Himself to help her.
Finally, I gained a tiny bit more perspective on the purpose of our existence here. The scriptures tell us: “All these things shall give [us] experience, and shall be for our good.” This life is a time for learning and growth, and we do that through the experiences that we are gifted. We need to choose to magnify those experiences and seek out the purpose for which God has given them to us. I am so grateful for my experiences this past semester, despite (maybe even because) it not turning out as planned. My vision has been raised to a higher plain of purpose, and I am oh-so-willing to live the life the Lord would have me live to continue in that direction.
